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The Basic Principles On How To Meet and Talk To Women and How To pick Up women In Bars
How To Talk To Women In Bars Learn how to meet and talk to women in bars by learning the basic principles on why picking up women in bars is different than just about any other place.At the local University who enjoyed relaxing after a long day of classes and work by going to the local brewery which was a popular hangout place for students. When I met Debbie there we got to talking and eventually I told her I was a dating coach (she already had a boyfriend and I was also dating 3 women at the time and did not want to add another) which fascinated her. We began talking and laughing about bar pick up and some the ridiculous pick up lines men used on her.
“I actually had a guy beg me to go out with him once,” Debbie started, her big beautiful brown eyes glistened in the lights of the brewery. “It was so pathetic.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty bad,” I responded, “But at least he came up and talked to you. A lot of men don’t even make the effort.”
“I never thought about it that way,” she answered.
I asked her how she would like to be approached in a bar setting. “Well,” she began again, “when I was single if I wanted to meet guys I would put in more effort to look good.”
“So guys should look for women that have on great make up, shoes, and clothes, right?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes and no,” Debbie responded. “Sometimes a woman wants to get all dressed up, get a lot of attention from men, and then go back home.”
“I see.”
“A woman who wants to meet a guy gives out signals,” Debbie continued. “She uses her hands, her eyes, and her body. A man who can pick up on these signals is very sexy. Also don’t try and use a pick up line. Walk over to me like you deserve to talk to me and introduce yourself. You don’t necessarily have to offer me a drink.”
“By the way, I tell my boys never to offer to buy a woman drink,” I said firmly.
“Why’s that?” Debbie asked curiously.
“Because it immediately lowers the man’s status. He saying that in order to talk to you he has to buy you a drink and for me that’s how I qualify a woman. If I have to buy her a drink just to talk to her then she’s not right for me anyway.”
Debbie had that a-ha look on her face, “I never thought of it that way, you make a good point. You’re right Rod a man shouldn’t have to bribe a woman just to get her to talk.”
I’ve had these conversations hundreds of times with women in virtually ever social setting. I always like to hear what women think they like and then comparing it to what they ACTUALLY go out with. It doesn’t always match. Now bars and pubs come in all shapes and sizes. They all cater to different crowds. If you’re looking to meet really attractive women then your best bet is to go to either trendy bars where attractive women tend to flock to, bars close to college campuses, or popular local neighborhood bars where the regulars all know one another. Remember, you don’t have to drink alcohol when you go to a bar, there’s always iced tea or cranberry juice (though be prepared to take some ribbing for it).
There are 3 types of women that go to bars: women that like to drink, women that like to meet men, and women that like getting attention from men but don’t plan on doing anything with it because they’ve got someone at home. Though I’ve picked up women in bars, I realize that the majority of women that go there aren’t relationship material. So when you go into a bar you’ve got to realize that it’s a great place to practice your pick up game, but it’s not a great place to meet someone for a long-term relationship.
The best way to go about talking to women in bars is to first have the right mindset. You should be going there to have fun and to meet new people, nothing more. Too often men put unnecessary pressure on themselves by thinking they HAVE to “score” or walk away with at least one phone number. At the end of my night the only thing I want to say is that I’ve had fun and met some interesting people. A man’s self-esteem should come from within and accomplishment, not from how many phone numbers he’s able to get.
Remember that women size you up as soon as you walk into the bar so make sure you’re well-dressed, just showered (spray your cologne once or twice in the air, walk through it with your eyes closed – so you don’t burn your eyes – and that’s it, remember women have a stronger sense of smell than men do so don’t use the whole freaking bottle), standing up straight, and if your gaze should meet hers, don’t look away. Then either walk right up to her without thinking or head over to the bar and order your beverage.
The key to talking to women in bars is putting your personality on display. I contend that if you’re nervous or jittery when talking to women then you are not really being yourself. You don’t get nervous when you talk to your family and friends so try and remain relaxed. You achieve this with practice which is why you need to go out at least 3 to 4 times a week and make many approaches before you really get the hang of this. I enjoy going to other cities to practice and recommend you do this too when you’re first starting out, this way you know for a fact that no one is going to know you (not that it really matters, but some guys need that psychological edge).
The key to finding women in the bar that want to get attention from men is pretty simple. Just look for the woman who keeps looking around or the woman who makes eye contact with you. Is she dressed up? Does it appear that she put forth a lot of effort to look “hot” tonight? She wants attention from men, so give it her, but not in the way she wants. Don’t offer to buy her drink. Don’t give her a direct compliment. Don’t talk about work or ask her where she’s from or if she comes to that bar often. Talk about fun things that have an emotional edge such as relationships, celebrity drama, or hypothetical situations. Recently I had a great conversation with a group of women by simply walking up to them and asking them “Boxers or briefs?”. Virtually anything will work if you believe it will.
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